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HustlerWorld Interview: Patton Oswalt

When we sat down with comedian and "King of Queens" regular Patton Oswalt, we didn't know quite what to expect. There's nothing worse than interviewing a comedian who's "on" and wants to perform the entire time. This is espcially true if one is suffering a particularly nasty hangover.

We're not saying that we were nursing the results of too much Scotch and not enough sleep, but our head appreciated Patton's more cerebral take on the art of making people laugh. Our conversation involved everything from political awareness, the current state of comedy and, of course, pornography.

(Editor's note: This is the first in what will become a series of interviews with mainstream actors, comedians and musicians. Stay tuned to HustlerWorld for more!)

Read the entire interview, after the jump.

When were you introduced to the dark arts of pornography?

I grew up in the suburbs of Northern Virginia that were built two years after I was born. So, of course I was introduced to porn by a bunch of waterlogged playboys that we found out in the woods in some older kids' forts. Then they became currency. We would pass them around, trade them and stuff like that…it was crazy.

That's actually how we were introduced to it as well.

Now that I'm older I actually don't buy that much porn because of the Internet. That's a tradition that becomes lost. When you become an older guy you should have a stack of porn and every now and then you should leave it out in the woods to keep the tradition going.

Do you remember the name of the first porn you saw? Ours was "Suck My Cock, I'll Fuck Your Face".

The porn that I got introduced in the early 80s when we finally got cable television, so it was all that softcore shit and then later on…I got into it retroactively. But I never really actually was into porn films because I didn't have the access. I had a much richer fantasy life than could ever be put in a porno. I tend to go for like Giant Tesses, huge giant woman, stuff that's beyond the budget. They didn't have CGI back then, it wouldn't have worked.

You know what my first erotic film experience was "Village of the Giants" when I was like six. When that guy's hanging out of Joy Harmon's bra I'm like, "Oh…man".

Are there any porn stars that you're fond of?

The porn stars that I really, really like, again I had such a weird…I used to go to the Video Vault in Arlington or Alexandria or wherever the fuck it was…and I was really introduced through the Russ Meyer stuff, so my porn pantheon tends to be people like Christy Hartburg, Tura Santana, [Kitten] Natividad.

You're into the giant bush porn?

More the giant boob porn. But I will say Marilyn Chambers is pretty ridiculously beautiful when you watch her movies. She is stunning. She can really act. You know who she looks like? Diane Laine. She's so ridiculously beautiful. I think even now…she's aged perfectly.

Does your wife know you're doing this interview?

Sure. In a relationship you better be open. If your not open about what exactly turns you on and how dirty you need it, you're going to end up destroying the relationship. Cause you're going to end up resenting the other person. You gotta lay it all out.

So "The Comedians of Comedy Tour" just ended…

The tour ended, we're gonna do a new one in April. They ran the show for a whole season on Comedy Central. They're not gonna pick it up for a second season, but now we're getting a lot of offers from other networks so we're shopping it around, so who knows?

It almost seems like there's a renaissance of standup comedy.

There definitely is. What's amazing is that it seems like the same resurgence or surge that happened in the early 80s. And it's happening, the same wrong things are being done#133;there all these incredible creative people that are doing [standup] and, for the most part, the ones that are getting the exposure are doing the easy, obvious shit. And it's too bad because there are at least 50 comedians you can see every night in LA for 5 bucks that are so fucking creative and risk-taking and totally new and they're all going to be huge stars some day.

Like who?

Oh Jesus Christ…Dan Mintz, Melissa Paul, Morgan Murphy, James Adomian. Again you've never heard of these people, but they're all going to be…it's like looking at the writing staff for the Dana Carvey Show. Remember that sketch show he had on ABC?

With Dana Carvey pretending to be George Bush and breastfeeding the cats?

Yeah, it ran for like three episodes. You know who the writing staff on the show was? Louis CK, Dave Chapelle, Charlie Kaufman, Steve Carrell and Steven Colbert. That was the writing staff.

They're all huge.

They're all massive. It's the same thing…you're going to look at some of the flyers for their shows in 10 years and be like "Holy shit, it was 5 dollars to see these people…on a Tuesday night and there were probably 40 people in the audience".

If you find the old lineups for the old Diamond Club in Hollywood back in the early 90s, like 94 or 95…when I first moved out here, the shows are like Tenacious D, Mr. Show when it was just Bob and David doing sketches, Jeanine Garofalo, Laura Kightlinger…you could see all these people for 5 fucking dollars!

We actually got a chance to see David Cross in D.C…

Washington, D.C. is such a great city to do stand up in because it's full of the audiences are all of these people who are either really, really liberal or really really conservative. And they'll sit there and go, "I don't agree with that, but that was really funny." The thing is, in D.C. you can have a lot more fun doing stuff, that [when you're] in the Midwest…and what's weird and I'm not putting down the Midwest…

You can put down the Midwest all you want.

I tour there a lot and it really hit me that people in the Midwest are way more politically aware than people on either coasts like NY, LA or DC. We can sit there and argue in theory about what is being done to the country. We live in these weird bubbles of illusion and what we do has nothing to do with the actual economy. But they, when a tax law gets blocked or a health program gets slashed, they're immediately affected by it. They know what they fuck is going on. You get some really surprising reactions in the Midwest. You won't just get people going, "Bush is right or Bush is wrong," you get, "Oh, you're mad because he stutters? Here's why I'm mad. I can't get my kid's teeth fucking fixed."

You've been doing standup for a while…have you lost your taste for it or are still as into it?

My taste for it gets more distinct every year. All of the other stuff I do, the writing, the acting, it's so I can have more exposure and do more standup. And do the type of tour I'm doing right now where I can book a rock club and hopefully word of mouth will get around and I can reach more young people. The thing I will never lose the taste for is standup. Acting's the most rewarding, writing's the most satisfying, but standup is the most fun.

Who's going to be on the next tour…is it already lined up?

Me, Brian Posehn, Maria Bamford and Zach Galifianakis, and hopefully some special guests.

Any final thoughts on life?

I love giant woman, I love big boobs and keep an eye out for Tuesday April 4th, No Reason To Complain comes out…it's got plenty of easter eggs and hidden stuff.

  • Check out the "Comedians of Comedy" tour.
  • Order "No Reason to Complain"


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