On the Set: HUSTLER Exposed
We arrived to the set of HUSTLER Exposed—Mya Luanna's first shoot under exclusive contract—and our ears were immediately assaulted by some blaring, God-awful Eurotrash dance music. "It's too early for this," we thought. Not too early to watch porn being filmed, mind you...that's impossible. It was too early to be listening to unk da unk da unk da unk da unk da.
Our tune soon changed when we encountered Miss Luanna holding court from her makeup chair. Babies could have been crying and we wouldn't have noticed. She's more stunning and poised than we remembered. She took her time, thoughtfully and playfully answering every question put forward, no matter how outlandish or simple they may have been. All the while, the makeup girl was tugging and combing and hair-spraying and brushing Mya's gorgeous head of hair.
"I want to have sex on a tire swing," she admitted was one of her fantasies. Playground sex—our kind of girl. We think that can easily be arranged for one of her next scenes.
Speaking of scenes—not to mention terrible segues—Mya makes sure to watch hers. "What's working, what's not working...I want to look as good as possible for myself and the director." It's like a coach watching footage of a football game to see what his team needs to improve upon. Except in this particular instance, the highlight reel involves coitus and not the shotgun formation.
(Editor's Note:Go Redskins!)
Our favorite moment during this erotic-roundtable came when Mya was asked if she had any advice or secrets she could share with the ladies. "I don't use my teeth," she said. A-fucking-men sister! I'm sure Tommy Gunn, her scene partner for the day, appreciated having his junk returned sans bite marks.
Speaking of Tommy, he rolled in wearing a fanny pack. In case you don't realize the importance of that observation, we will reiterate using capital letters. The mulitple AVN-award winning stud was wearing a FANNY PACK! Bravely—we later realized there was no need for concern, he's incredibly nice— we asked him to explain. "'Cause I have so much shit," was his eloquently earnest response. "And I don't really care how it looks."
Honestly, we had no idea how much time is needed for girls to pretty themselves up. Her hair alone must have taken an hour. She tried on 6 different outfits, countless pairs of panties and a suitcase full of stripper shoes that she swore were comfortable. Forunately, Mya's personality and game-for-anything attitude made the hours seem like minutes and turned what could have been a mind-numbing wait into an enjoyable experience.
Much like the sailors becoming transfixed with the sirens of Greek mythology, falling under Mya Luanna's spell was easy. Fortunately for us, instead of meeting a watery demise or filling our ears with beeswax, we were lured into watching Mya and Tommy Gunn have sex.
And the next time the HustlerWorld girlfriend is late for a date, we're going to forgive her. We know what's taking so long.
