No More Periods. Period.
Once again, science has triumphed over nature's cruel grasp on masculinity. The FDA recently approved a contraceptive that halts a lady's monthly menstruation cycle. Manufactured by Wyeth, the drug Lybrel promises that the nation's women will not be allowed to take a break from servicing their husbands during "that time of the month".
Both manufacturers and owners of white pants are said to be ecstatic.
More importantly, we're assuming that this also means an end to PMS. While we're not sure as to the validity of this claim, entertaining the thought is enough for us to report it as fact. Just imagine a world were women can't blame their bitchiness on the cyclical shedding of their uterine lining. That's a world we want to live in.
While there is no current legislation making this new birth-control mandatory for sexually active women, lobbying Congress shouldn't be too difficult. We've created an online petition to get the ball rolling.
And to the scientists who forewent curing cancer to bring us this miracle drug...THANK YOU!!!
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